Welcome to the second and final part of A Tribe Called Geek – Where we’ll find out if you’re maybe a Gamer, Nomad or Hipster.
If you haven’t already read about Hackers and Crackers, click here.
This is not a definitive list, and just for fun, other tribes are available, so if you think of any, please let us know!
We’ve purposefully missed off a few sub-species for obvious reasons – there’s not much point writing “How To Spot A Cosplayer” when you’re at San Diego Comic Con surrounded by big-eyed Japanese anime girls and chubby forty-year-olds who speak fluent Klingon!
Right, let’s dive straight in with our first geek sub-species – Gamers…
The stereotype of the Gamer is rather unkind; the overweight Man-Boy who never left home and therefore cannot look after himself is largely a myth. That said, they are as nocturnal as a vampire and often avid potato chip guzzlers!
Before he got mixed up in the biggest cyber crime in history, Mobley would definitely have been a gamer.
But there are many varied shaped, good looking Man-Boys too, and if you’re reading this, you’ll definitely fall into that category! There are loads of female gamers out there too and their stereotype is far kinder than its male counterpart.
The female gamer is seen as fearless, feminist warrior cosplayers who always tend to do well in King of the Nerds!
HOW TO SPOT A GAMER:
Motto: “Carpe Diem”
Works: The USA’s last remaining Blockbuster video store,
Looks: Slightly overweight, oversized Star Wars T-shirt, jeans, sneakers
Uses: Acer Predator G1-710-70001, Nvidia Titan X graphics card +15 sound cards
Carries: Bluetooth gaming headset
Votes: Republican (they like shooting things!)
Listens: Awesome 64-bit music like this and Beastie Boys meets Daft Punk remix albums like this
Watches: Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Anime, Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, King of the Nerds
Drinks: Monster Energy Drinks
Tribal Relations: Cosplayers
Wants: To be left alone
Digital Nomadism is a relatively new phenomenon since the paperless office. Essentially, it’s what happens when thirty-somethings have a mid-life crisis, go backpacking around the world, find themselves (or learn to surf) and decide they’re never going home again – and why should they?
Especially after the election result! We’re all running from something, and I’m no exception! I’m running from my mom.
They’ve packed their lives into one backpack and one daypack and inhabit the cheapest cities, beaches and tourist trails on earth, from Thailand, Bali, India and Mexico to Eastern Europe. The Digital Nomad thinks they are on a spiritual path to enlightenment; they practice yoga and meditate but have in fact just swapped their environment for sunnier climes – they still (secretly) look down on people just like they did in high school!
Of all our Mr Robot friends, Angela is the most likely to say Fuck You New York, pack a bag and jet around the world like this guy.
HOW TO SPOT A DIGITAL NOMAD:
AKA: Nomad, Remote Worker
Motto: “Have wheels, will travel”
Lives: Chiang Mai, Ubud, Goa, Kuala Lumpur, Oaxaca
Votes: Doesn’t vote but describes them self as an eco-warrior
Works: Says they’re an entrepreneur but really sells shit on alibaba.com, always hatching some hair-brained Start-up
Looks: Yoga pants, flip-flops, light T-shirt, bad tattoos of Buddha
Uses: Apple MacBook Air, iPhone for 3G connection, Apple ear buds
Carries: Sunglasses, Sunscreen, bamboo eco-straw
Listens: GOASTT, New Age hypnotherapy and affirmations
Watches: Eco documentaries (but still visits drugged tiger temples)
Drinks: Peanut Butter and banana smoothies
Tribal Relations: Backpackers
Wants: No responsibility
Leaving the best(!) til last, Hipsters have been leaving their ironic bikes unchained outside coffee shops and vape stores in Portland, San Francisco, Toronto, New York, London and Austin for a decade now, and quite frankly, they’re getting a little… rusty.
When not looking like lumberjacks or sporting turn-ups and deck shoes, Hipster Nipsters can be overheard mansplaining politics to female friends. They may be third cousins twice removed, but many of these boys and gals who fill design agencies are tech savvy and make up a small percentage of A Tribe Called Geek. To give them their props, they do celebrate their geekiness, not the extent of say… cosplayers but they revel in their kooky uniqueness. All of them… by wearing exactly the same clothes 😉
HOW TO SPOT A HIPSTER:
Motto: “Can you make that with soy milk?”
Lives: Converted loft studio in Portland, Oregon
Works: As a barista, barman or at a media design agency
Votes: Republican, like their parents but they say they voted Green
Looks: Like fucking Tin Tin with a Victorian strongman mustache, salmon pink jeans, Breton shirt
Uses: Apple Mac Book Air, Red Dr Dre Beats Headphones, Ironic Bike (left unchained) iPhone, Apple Pay
Carries: Raybans, Organic hair wax
Listens: Indie labels, Holy Fuck and any nonsense you haven’t heard of!
Watches: Twin Peaks, Flight of the Conchords, Freaks and Geeks, Portlandia
Drinks: Starbucks Fair Trade Organic Espresso-based Flat White with a “dot of milk”
Tribal Relations: Lumbersexuals
Wants: To be noticed
If he weren’t such a megalomaniac, I reckon Tyrell Wellick has the boyish good looks and correct hair to be waxed like a hipster.
Change his name to Milo, give him a week’s training with Starbucks and he might even make some tips!
So there we have it, folks! Where do you fit in A Tribe Called Geek? Are you a mash-up? Or are you something else entirely?
Please share with your hacker, cracker, gamer, nomadic and hipster friends by hitting the above buttons.
Many thanks, we really appreciate your help and support to see us all through til Season 3!